YuGiOh: ExtremeOh
by Icy Pheonix
Summary: A little parody on this cherished, suspenseful, and overall unbelievably "interesting" anime.


Don't own YGO. And this is just a one-shot written out of boredom, so I hope you like it.

_What If Yugi Was An Expert At Dice?_

_The final showdown between Seto Kaiba and Yugi Motou in the First Episode:_

_At the game shop:_

Yugi said, with shock, looking around the game shop, "Grandpa's missing!"

"Oh! That's terrible!" said Tea. "What happened?"

Joey gritted his teeth. "I bet that scumbag Kaiba took him! Didn't Kaiba try to force Mr. Motou to sell the fourth Blue Eyes White Dragon dice and he said no? I bet that loser is tryin' his luck at taking it!"

"No!" said Tristen, looking shocked. "Kaiba wouldn't do that!"

"Yeah he would. Here, bring your fake gun to frighten him if he does anything weird." Tristen slipped it in his pocket.

"Well, guys, we _have_ to get him back!" said Yugi with conviction. "I bet we have to go to the Kaiba headquarters!"

"No _kidding_, Yugi!" said Joey, rolling his eyes.

_In the Kaiba headquarters:_

Tea grinned maniacally. "Before Yugi fights Kaiba, we must first show our undying love for each other!"

Yugi: "Um…"

Joey: (Says nothing).

Tristen: "Dude, are you _hitting_ on me?"

"Here! Let me scribble things on your hands!" She grabbed all of their hands and drew curvy black lines all over them.

"How come you have a black marker?" asked Yugi.

Tea just gave a funny little laugh. "Now, put your hands together. See? It makes a smilie face! See? It shows that we'll do everything for each other!"

"Unless it involves doing something about the fact that you're hitting on me." (Slap).

Joey squinted his eyes. "I dunno…it looks kind of like a sheep to me." (Another slap).

"I like it, Tea," said Yugi, ever-polite. "It's kind of cool."

"Oh, _Yugi_!" Tea bent down about three feet and still had to hug him around the neck.

"I thought she liked _me!_" protested Tristen.

_In the Kaiba game room:_

Yugi steeled himself as though a rhino was going to come charging through right at him, and looked into a deeply lit room. The doors slammed shut behind him. He looks around, and then he saw a very tall figure walking in out of nowhere. It was _the_ Seto Kaiba. An 18-year-old genius, he had founded his whole company on sheer wit, skill, and constipation. Yes, Seto Kaiba always had his panties in a twist about _something,_ and today, it was Yugi. As he came closer to Yugi, Yugi noticed that he had short brown hair, angry, cold blue eyes, ridiculously long legs, and his cape appeared to have been soaked in a whole tub of Elmer's glue because the frilly end of it billowed out in a nonexistent breeze. His scowl was enough to make a dandelion wilt upon impact. Or kill the rhino. Yugi also saw that his brown hair was dripping wet.

"I just got out of the shower." He grumbled, when he noticed Yugi's gaze. Then, he seemed to remember that he needed to make himself appear awesome and scary. So, he let out a mad cackle, which turned into a coughing fit. Yugi stared.

"Ahem! Yugi Motou, I expect that you want your grandfather back?" He said greasily.

"Yes! And you'd better give him back, you meanie!"

"Fine, boy. Duel me, and then we'll talk." Yugi nodded and gritted his teeth in agreement.

"STEINER! Bring me an oak table!" Kaiba barked, and a man that Yugi hadn't noticed hastened away. Several seconds later, he and several other officials were carrying a huge wooden kitchen table. Yugi eyed it. They set it down in front of Kaiba, their employer.

"CHAIRS!" He yelled, and second later some more men in black carried one armchair and one tiny stool.

Kaiba immediately grabbed the comfy chair and plunked down in it, and smirked as Yugi reluctantly took the kindergarten stool and only the tips of the purple portion of his hair came up above the table. He instead ignored the stool and stood, coming just up to the tabletop.

Kaiba reached inside his gluey cape and pulled out a tiny gluey set of 4 1-6 di. He gave two to Yugi. "No one has ever bested me at dice." He said. "Best two of three." Yugi narrowed his huge purple eyes, and then, he felt something erupt inside of him and his millennium puzzle began to glow. He was suddenly enveloped in a pillar of blue-white light, and someone randomly shouted, "YU-GI-OHHHHHHHHHHH!" in the background. Lots of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics swirled around him, and then, Yugi returned. His eyes had an insane glint in them and were much meaner. His yellow hair had also spontaneously grown into his spiky purple mass, and although still hopelessly a midget, he seemed to have a commanding air about him. His forehead grew many lines, and he looked up and smirked at Kaiba.

Kaiba had finished rolling, and his total was 10. He smirked, and was apparently unperturbed by the light show. "Go, Yugi!"

"I shall," said the new, deep-voiced Yugi. He looked at his ordinary red dices with white dots. He took one in each hand and rolled them. He shut his eyes, and then dropped them. They clattered across the table, and it looked for a moment like they'd be two sixes, with just as it almost landed there, one die flipped over to reveal a three while the other stayed as a six.

Kaiba laughed. "A nine! I knew you'd be no match for I, the great Kaiba Dude!"

Yugi gritted his teeth and the forehead lines deepened. "Oh no." He muttered. It was his favorite saying. It made him feel sexy.

The grabbed their die again and Yugi knew that if he didn't win this, he'd lose. Then he'd shoot himself. Which wasn't good.

He rolled them. Kaiba again came up with a 10, and Yugi rolled his dice after much consideration of wind propulsion. What if the wind blew over his dice?

He shut his eyes again, and rolled, with a very overdramatic clatter. It rolled, and spun on a corner, and one ended up with a five. Then, two minutes later, the other came to a decision, and became a six.

"SHHHHH-YES!" Yugi did a dance and Kaiba sulked.

"Final roll, dweeb." He growled, and grabbed his dice again. "Next time you won't be so lucky."

Kaiba rolled again, first, and came up with a 6 and a 5. "Beat that, punk!"

Yugi gazed at his dice, and knew that he couldn't possibly beat an 11. Then, he saw, that the dice had turned up their "2" side and those eyes were staring at him. _The die sense my doubt!_ He thought. _I must believe…heart of the cubes…GUIDE ME!_

So (wicked drum roll) he rolled. One of the dice was a 6, immediately. But the other one spun and spun and spun for two hours it seemed, and then it decided. Yugi's prayer had come through. It was a six. Just enough to beat Kaiba.

Kaiba stared at the die and gasped. "IT CAN'T BE, YUGI!" He yelled. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And with that YU-GI-OOOOOOOOOH, Yugi's DNA was affected and he changed back into Goody-Two-Shoes Yugi. Tea and Joey ran in, half-carrying a very beaten up Tristen.

"Did you win, Yugi?" Tea asked anxiously.

"Yes!" He said. "I won!" He turned to Kaiba. "Give me back my grandpa!"

"Fine." He said, and snapped for Steiner to bring him. A few seconds later, Yugi's grandpa was brought in. The old gray haired loon stared at Yugi and Steiner pushed him over. The, Kaiba smirked, and took out the Blue Eyes White Dragon dice. It was Mr. Motou's!

"Don't you touch that!" Said Tea.

Kaiba laughed, this time almost choking to death, and Steiner had to perform the Heimlich maneuver. So, Kaiba learned his lesson, and only smirked as he crushed the blue eyes dice into a very fine powder with his overlarge hand.

"If I can't be mine it won't be anyone's!" He yelled, and with a whirl of his permanently stiff windblown cloak, he disappeared. Joey hurled something small after him. Yugi and the others all helped Grandpa and Tristen get outside, and they went back to Yugi's house.

_At Yugi's House:_

"Well, at least you're safe, Grandpa," said Yugi, hugging him around the middle.

"Yes. It was a miracle we got out okay. Well, except for Tristen."

"Yes, what happened to him?"

Joey reddens. "I got irritated at him."

Yugi shrugged, picking up that he didn't want to say why. "But you know what I noticed? Someone yelled my name when the hieroglyphics tried to eat me."

Tea looked at him funny. "I won't ask. But he yelled your name when he was getting beaten up by Joey."

Yugi looked at them expectantly.

"He said one too many times that I was hitting on him, so Joey creamed him."

"Ooooh…" Yugi nodded, then laughed. "That's typical of him."

"But I wonder what happened to Kaiba." Tea said. "He just vanished."

"Oh, he's probably moping." Joey muttered.

"I don't know." Yugi said. "But he's probably having fun."

_In the Las Vegas Casino:_

"DAMN IT! WHAT A STUPID MACHINE! WHY WON'T IT LET ME WIN?"

"SETO—"

"SHUT UP, MOKUBA! OH MY GOD! OOOOHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOODDDDD! WHY CAN'T I WIN?"

"Seto, please! Those duels were all just luck. It's all based on chance!"

"IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN! I WAS THE GREATEST AND NOW THAT YUGI LAYED A HEX ON ME, I'LL NEVER WIN AGAIN!"

Kaiba punched the slot reels screen, shattering it. And then he shot himself. Or tried to. Because Joey had slipped him Tristen's fake gun.

A/N: No, I do not have a sick mind! I was just really bored and this was what came of it! Um, review please!


End file.
